NOTE: At the end of this post, I'll tell you the rules for my Fathers Day 2018 Contest: The winner will get to choose between two field-level tickets to a regular season Yankees game in the Bronx (date TBA, travel not included) or a $1,000 donation to your father's favorite charity.
My father died when I was eleven, and was in and out of my life before that, so I don't have too many solid memories of him.
And while I was super close with my mother, I never felt like I knew "the whole story" with her. I think my mom operated under the "I didn’t want to tell you because you weren’t ready" mentality, and we never quite got there.
In anticipation of Father's Day, I've been thinking a lot about what being a father means to me, and a big part of it is sharing as much of my life as possible with my two kids.
This meant bringing them to work as much as was possible (and realistic) while they were growing up, and it also meant letting them have a voice in where we'd go on vacation, or to eat - or any of our family plans, for that matter. And it's meant being open with my children emotionally (within reason of course).
Being a father has also meant passing on "life lessons." I've always emphasized three "golden rules" with my kids:
1. Be a good person to everyone.
2. Be a good brother and son with your family.
3. Do your best in school.
Those were our only "non-negotiable" rules. We drilled them into our kids very early on.
And it's very satisfying to see what generous adults they've become, what good sports they are at all times.
But being a father is not just about how I "parent" my kids; it's also about how they influence me!
My kids, in addition to my wife, serve as my accountability police.
They keep me honest by goofing on me what seems like all of the time. They help me to not take myself too seriously.
It’s good to have people who know you and are completely open and honest with you. Who can critique you.
My daughter often calls me out when I tell her a story: "I can't believe you said that to that person!" (She also helps me dress sometimes.)
For me, the bottom line is that being a father is about more than the love I have for my kids: It's the teaching that only my my wife and I can provide them - and it's the learning that we can only get from them.
FATHERS DAY 2018 CONTEST RULES:
1. Subscribe to this blog by entering your email address > HERE <. (If you're already subscribed, you can skip this step.)
2. Leave a comment in the comments section below, telling me what being a father - or having a father - means to you. If you're reading this from your email, click > HERE < to go to the full blog page on my website and you can leave your comments below.
NO PURCHASE NECESSARY! CONTEST CLOSES AT 12:01 AM, EASTERN STANDARD TIME, JUNE 18th, 2018.
CONTEST RULES: By entering your comment, you are agreeing to the following Official Rules: Must be US resident; Must enter by leaving comment in comments section of this post; I retain the right to publicize the names and likenesses of the winner(s); If winner forfeits or does not claim the prize, it will be re-awarded, at my discretion. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED BY LAW.
Song of the Day: "Father And Daughter" by Paul Simon
Being a father, to me, means never being good enough. With a very demanding child who started off with colic to now having eating issues, among other things, I just keep fighting to find the light at the end of the tunnel. I am never at peace, I am never satisfied, I am never done. While I love my son, I never feel like I am good enough for him. Being a father of my 21 month old has taken over my world, it has ruined relationships, killed friendships, and altered my life in a way that I could not even have imagined. I don’t really get to do much anymore, including seeing my beloved Yankees at the Stadium.
All I can hope for is that light at the end of the tunnel, for one day, can be the sun on the field at Yankee Stadium.
My father was a hard worker, working 12 hours a day. When I got in my teens he would take me with him on his second job to “help” him. I enjoyed that time with him and he made me feel important. But my best times with my Dad were when he would take me to Yankee Stadium. This was back in the 1950s so I got to see Mickey, Yogi and all the great Yankees. We always went on a Sunday to see a double header and sat in the bleachers. Two games for 75 cents!
I entered the Air Force in the late 1960s and retired 30 years later so our chances to go to Yankee Stadium diminished.
But I kept up the tradition with my two children and some of my best times with them is when we go to Yankee stadium together. I am a Yankee season ticket holder so I go to almost every game but the best times are when my children come to visit (one lives in CA and the other is in the Air Force stationed overseas) and we go to a game. It is a bond that gives me great joy.
My father was a hard worker, working 12 hours a day. When I got in my teens he would take me with him on his second job to “help” him. I enjoyed that time with him and he made me feel important. But my best times with my Dad were when he would take me to Yankee Stadium. This was back in the 1950s so I got to see Mickey, Yogi and all the great Yankees. We always went on a Sunday to see a double header and sat in the bleachers. Two games for 75 cents!
I entered the Air Force in the late 1960s and retired 30 years later so our chances to go to Yankee Stadium diminished.
But I kept up the tradition with my two children and some of my best times with them is when we go to Yankee stadium together. I am a Yankee season ticket holder so I go to almost every game but the best times are when my children come to visit (one lives in CA and the other is in the Air Force stationed overseas) and we go to a game. It is a bond that gives me great joy.
I just post the event that I do every year call the father forum. Myself Bronx Community so many kids is without their fathers. It is my phone the biggest problem in the Department of Education I have to dress this issue I reaching out to father uncle’s big brothers. And giving them support, I work closely with the Bronx district attorney and Ruben Diaz Jr the Bronx Borough president giving dad’s knowledge on all type of issues. Raising from child support, Mary support, and substance abuse.
My Dad & I are very different, yet very similar in a lot of ways. That’s probably why we can be laughing with each other one minute & disagreeing with each other the next. One thing that never changes is our unconditional love for one another.
My Dad worked nights when my brother & I were growing up, so he missed a lot of our games & the other things going on in our everyday lives. My Mom handled most of that. He worked very hard to provide for our family. We didn’t have a lot of money, but my brother & I were never really aware of it. We didn’t go on a lot of overnight vacations when we were growing up, but we did a lot of day trips in between our games & tournaments.
One day a year [usually in June] we would make the drive down to the Bronx to catch a game at Yankee Stadium. That started when I was about 3 years old (1983). As you well know, the Yankees weren’t winning much in those days, but we had an awesome outing as a family. Sitting field level wasn’t an option. We typically got as far down as Loge. Those times spent together, just the four of us, were some of the greatest memories of my life. I don’t remember the opponent or if the Yankees won or lost most of those games, but I am fortunate enough to remember the time spent together as a family. It’s irreplaceable.
As I get older, I realize just how precious the time we spend together really is. Last year I took both of my parents to a game & we sat with the Bleacher Creatures. We bonded over our mutual love of the Yankees & our love for one another. This time though, we remember that the Yankees won the game.
My longtime boyfriend (since September 2009) lost his Dad last summer. He was like a second Dad to me, & the loss really hurts. I was the one who found him when he collapsed picking up the morning newspaper on Father’s Day 2017. We didn’t know the reason why he fell, but we went off to the hospital to find out. Around noon that day , Mr. O’Brien grabbed my cheeks, looked me in the eyes, & told me to go home to spend the rest of Father’s Day with my Dad. I knew he was serious so I honored his wishes.
Over the past year, I’ve bonded more with both of our families. Everything can change in the blink of an eye & your life will never be the same.
My Dad just turned 72 and I want to enjoy each & every moment that I can with him. Time is precious & I would love to share this priceless memory with the first guy I ever loved… my Dad.