NOTE: At the end of this post, I'll tell you the rules for my Fathers Day 2018 Contest: The winner will get to choose between two field-level tickets to a regular season Yankees game in the Bronx (date TBA, travel not included) or a $1,000 donation to your father's favorite charity.
My father died when I was eleven, and was in and out of my life before that, so I don't have too many solid memories of him.
And while I was super close with my mother, I never felt like I knew "the whole story" with her. I think my mom operated under the "I didn’t want to tell you because you weren’t ready" mentality, and we never quite got there.
In anticipation of Father's Day, I've been thinking a lot about what being a father means to me, and a big part of it is sharing as much of my life as possible with my two kids.
This meant bringing them to work as much as was possible (and realistic) while they were growing up, and it also meant letting them have a voice in where we'd go on vacation, or to eat - or any of our family plans, for that matter. And it's meant being open with my children emotionally (within reason of course).
Being a father has also meant passing on "life lessons." I've always emphasized three "golden rules" with my kids:
1. Be a good person to everyone.
2. Be a good brother and son with your family.
3. Do your best in school.
Those were our only "non-negotiable" rules. We drilled them into our kids very early on.
And it's very satisfying to see what generous adults they've become, what good sports they are at all times.
But being a father is not just about how I "parent" my kids; it's also about how they influence me!
My kids, in addition to my wife, serve as my accountability police.
They keep me honest by goofing on me what seems like all of the time. They help me to not take myself too seriously.
It’s good to have people who know you and are completely open and honest with you. Who can critique you.
My daughter often calls me out when I tell her a story: "I can't believe you said that to that person!" (She also helps me dress sometimes.)
For me, the bottom line is that being a father is about more than the love I have for my kids: It's the teaching that only my my wife and I can provide them - and it's the learning that we can only get from them.
FATHERS DAY 2018 CONTEST RULES:
1. Subscribe to this blog by entering your email address > HERE <. (If you're already subscribed, you can skip this step.)
2. Leave a comment in the comments section below, telling me what being a father - or having a father - means to you. If you're reading this from your email, click > HERE < to go to the full blog page on my website and you can leave your comments below.
NO PURCHASE NECESSARY! CONTEST CLOSES AT 12:01 AM, EASTERN STANDARD TIME, JUNE 18th, 2018.
CONTEST RULES: By entering your comment, you are agreeing to the following Official Rules: Must be US resident; Must enter by leaving comment in comments section of this post; I retain the right to publicize the names and likenesses of the winner(s); If winner forfeits or does not claim the prize, it will be re-awarded, at my discretion. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED BY LAW.
Song of the Day: "Father And Daughter" by Paul Simon
Being a father has unbelievable responsibilities. And it doesn’t always entail “Tough Love”.
Being a father was the most sobering concept to life. When my daughter was born my heart became hers and hers mine. You always want the best for you children. I never knew that I could love someone more than myself. ( don’t tell my Wife). I have tried to be a good role model for her, and guide her the best I could do, preparing her for life. Reassuring her that through thick and thin she would always be the most important person to me. That first touch of my fingers with hers, having her lay on my chest to feel my heart beat., crying when she cried, laughing when she laughs. Where ever I am in the world she is always on my mind. Heart to heart.
My father passed away when I was 6 and he was only 36. I only remember a few things that occur until the time he died. He loved baseball and would talk to me about Mickey Mantle and what a player he was. I do remember him celbrating my hitting a ball over our house and him telling me that it was , “what the Mick would have done”.
My father was also marine and a WWII vet. He was one of the silent heroes and was involved in some battles that we as a family never knew—until I found his service record after he was gone.
He wanted to be a CPA and never got the opportunity— I became one because he did’nt get the chance (he was working to become one upon death), and I honor him and I his undying love for his family, the USA and the Yankees. Dennis Kelly, CPA
As like you my father passed away when I was in 5th grade. He wasn’t much of one to begin with. My mother raised me and my brothers to be the men we are today. What a father means to me even though I’ve only been one for 2 years. Is to be exactly what mine wasn’t it. To always be there for my son no matter what! When my son was born was kind of bitter sweet as a couple nights before my mother was admitted to the hospital she was fighting cancer. So my wife and I rushed to the hospital and realized shortly in the next couple days she would no longer be with us. As we talked, my wife and I decided to see if she could be induced to have our son, because then my mom would be able to meet her grandson. Well the next day my wife was induced to have our son, around 10 o’clock at night on February 19th she had our sweet son Lawson. The next day we went down to the oncology floor where my mom was and let her hold him. A couple hours later she passed away. Being a father is the greatest accomplishment I have ever been given the privilege of creating. God through his troubling times with my mom gave us something so sweet and beautiful in the hours of pain. My son Lawson makes me a better dad! I hope someday he looks up to me as his hero and not only his dad but best friend. I can not imagine life without him or before him. It is the greatest thing in the world! I hope I can be as great of a dad as my mother was to me being both! Nothing can ever change what it feels like being a father!
Being a father is the ultimate lifelong commitment, even more than marriage. Your son/daughter is always going to be your son/daughter and no matter how old they get or how much they grow up, they’re always going to be your “little boy/girl”. Being a father means putting your kid’s needs above your own, making sure they are fed, clean and comfortable before you are. It means watching their tv shows and videos instead of your own and no matter how silly they may seem to you, it’s the best thing to them. It means playing video games and despite not knowing how to control your character and watching your kid beat you over & over again, seeing the joy in their eyes as you’re making the time for them, makes it all worth it. It means going to birthday parties with dozens of screaming kids, doctors and dentist appointments with your own kids screaming, the occasional hospital visits and all the other unexpected events that pop up that mean so much to your kids. Plus it initially is a one way street. When they’re babies, they don’t say “thank you” or “I love you”. Even when they get older, those words aren’t heard nearly as much as they should be. However, you understand that one day when they look back and see all you’ve done for them, they’ll appreciate all the sacrifices you made and time spent with them. And that they’ll pass that love and admiration on to their kids.