NOTE: At the end of this post, I'll tell you the rules for my Fathers Day 2018 Contest: The winner will get to choose between two field-level tickets to a regular season Yankees game in the Bronx (date TBA, travel not included) or a $1,000 donation to your father's favorite charity.
My father died when I was eleven, and was in and out of my life before that, so I don't have too many solid memories of him.
And while I was super close with my mother, I never felt like I knew "the whole story" with her. I think my mom operated under the "I didn’t want to tell you because you weren’t ready" mentality, and we never quite got there.
In anticipation of Father's Day, I've been thinking a lot about what being a father means to me, and a big part of it is sharing as much of my life as possible with my two kids.
This meant bringing them to work as much as was possible (and realistic) while they were growing up, and it also meant letting them have a voice in where we'd go on vacation, or to eat - or any of our family plans, for that matter. And it's meant being open with my children emotionally (within reason of course).
Being a father has also meant passing on "life lessons." I've always emphasized three "golden rules" with my kids:
1. Be a good person to everyone.
2. Be a good brother and son with your family.
3. Do your best in school.
Those were our only "non-negotiable" rules. We drilled them into our kids very early on.
And it's very satisfying to see what generous adults they've become, what good sports they are at all times.
But being a father is not just about how I "parent" my kids; it's also about how they influence me!
My kids, in addition to my wife, serve as my accountability police.
They keep me honest by goofing on me what seems like all of the time. They help me to not take myself too seriously.
It’s good to have people who know you and are completely open and honest with you. Who can critique you.
My daughter often calls me out when I tell her a story: "I can't believe you said that to that person!" (She also helps me dress sometimes.)
For me, the bottom line is that being a father is about more than the love I have for my kids: It's the teaching that only my my wife and I can provide them - and it's the learning that we can only get from them.
FATHERS DAY 2018 CONTEST RULES:
1. Subscribe to this blog by entering your email address > HERE <. (If you're already subscribed, you can skip this step.)
2. Leave a comment in the comments section below, telling me what being a father - or having a father - means to you. If you're reading this from your email, click > HERE < to go to the full blog page on my website and you can leave your comments below.
NO PURCHASE NECESSARY! CONTEST CLOSES AT 12:01 AM, EASTERN STANDARD TIME, JUNE 18th, 2018.
CONTEST RULES: By entering your comment, you are agreeing to the following Official Rules: Must be US resident; Must enter by leaving comment in comments section of this post; I retain the right to publicize the names and likenesses of the winner(s); If winner forfeits or does not claim the prize, it will be re-awarded, at my discretion. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED BY LAW.
Song of the Day: "Father And Daughter" by Paul Simon
How do I put my father in words? The simple fact is that I can’t. I can’t describe a complex man who gave so much of himself to better his work, his family, his community and all the people he never met or knew. He was the most selfless man I ever met, and when he passed, at his funeral, it was amazing to see individuals that he touched many moons ago, or even for a brief second come far and wide to pay their respects. Just an example of his giving heart, on his last day of work, his work was facing financial constraints and he was asked to reconsider retirement. His statement was, “If I go, maybe others can stay”. His giving heart also extend to his employment in that he and my mom established four endowed scholarships to help out students in financial need.
Only a year and a half after his retirement, he passed away doing something he loved, refereeing a youth soccer match. In his last years of his life, he was a senior administrator at a University, he served on the local school board as President, the PAWest Soccer Board member, an Alumni Board Member at his Alma Mater, soccer referee/assessor/scheduler, TOPSoccer Volunteer, active in his church, brother and most important job, father.
He took care of his mother’s medical bills, has she fought the dreaded Alzheimer’s disease for 10+ years. My parents adopted my younger sister and ultimately had to stop his Ph.D. pursuit because of her medical issues. And never once did he ever complain about the cost, his burden, or what he gave up because family was everything to him. His life mission was to give to others and the more blessings were bestowed on him, the more he gave.
He was a great man, great father, soccer/football coach, loyal Cleveland Browns and Pittsburgh Pirates fan. As many other fathers, it’s so difficult to put into words what a person means to you, but for me, he is my inspiration. He is what I inspire to be and do – a loving man who gives more and always takes the high road, even what it is difficult and a dad that my son can look up to.
In the end, what does a father mean to me? It is simple – it’s being that someone that can be an inspiration to the soul. It’s taking a loving and caring heart and sharing with others. It’s being the person that wants to kill you when you do something wrong, and kisses you when you do something right; so they end up hugging you to death. It’s the person that leaves an impression on your heart, minutes, hours, days, and years later.
If I win this contest, I would like the funds to go to his memorial scholarship: http://www.pawest-soccer.org/info/norm_hasbrouck_scholarship/
Sincerely,
A Loving Son
Love your children unconditionally, live a healthy life so you can be with your children as long as possible and let them make mistakes and grow up as much as possible on their own.
Being a Dad is the most important thing in my life. It a responsibility to teach my kids right and wrong and give them life experiences. Having had multiple health scares over the last 18 years, it’s a blessing to have each day we are here and to take full advantage of it. Thank you for the chance to make a donation to a charity of my choice.
Being a Father is more than providing that spark to create life, it means being a man. But let me define that…
-Being that person that is “ALWAYS” there for his family as a whole.
-Being that “rock” that his family can depend on for advice, stability and friendship.
-Being “accountable” for all his actions, right or wrong.
-Being the role model that his children don’t have to look for on a screen or in a book.
-Being able to understand its “NOT” all about himself, but about his family and be willing to sacrifice his time, money and on occasion, piece of mind to see to it that his family will do better than he did and have more opportunities in life.
-Being “man” enough to show his feelings and owning them, no matter how “soft” hey may make him look.
That’s what being a Father is…
Being a father absolutely means being a good role model, example! It’s walking the walk in addition to talking the talk! Since having kids I have quit drinking and I volunteer more in our Church and for our favorite charity, Mercy Home for Boys and Girls. I am blessed to be a father – a responsibility I do not take lightly!