NOTE: At the end of this post, I'll tell you the rules for my Fathers Day 2018 Contest: The winner will get to choose between two field-level tickets to a regular season Yankees game in the Bronx (date TBA, travel not included) or a $1,000 donation to your father's favorite charity.
My father died when I was eleven, and was in and out of my life before that, so I don't have too many solid memories of him.
And while I was super close with my mother, I never felt like I knew "the whole story" with her. I think my mom operated under the "I didn’t want to tell you because you weren’t ready" mentality, and we never quite got there.
In anticipation of Father's Day, I've been thinking a lot about what being a father means to me, and a big part of it is sharing as much of my life as possible with my two kids.
This meant bringing them to work as much as was possible (and realistic) while they were growing up, and it also meant letting them have a voice in where we'd go on vacation, or to eat - or any of our family plans, for that matter. And it's meant being open with my children emotionally (within reason of course).
Being a father has also meant passing on "life lessons." I've always emphasized three "golden rules" with my kids:
1. Be a good person to everyone.
2. Be a good brother and son with your family.
3. Do your best in school.
Those were our only "non-negotiable" rules. We drilled them into our kids very early on.
And it's very satisfying to see what generous adults they've become, what good sports they are at all times.
But being a father is not just about how I "parent" my kids; it's also about how they influence me!
My kids, in addition to my wife, serve as my accountability police.
They keep me honest by goofing on me what seems like all of the time. They help me to not take myself too seriously.
It’s good to have people who know you and are completely open and honest with you. Who can critique you.
My daughter often calls me out when I tell her a story: "I can't believe you said that to that person!" (She also helps me dress sometimes.)
For me, the bottom line is that being a father is about more than the love I have for my kids: It's the teaching that only my my wife and I can provide them - and it's the learning that we can only get from them.
FATHERS DAY 2018 CONTEST RULES:
1. Subscribe to this blog by entering your email address > HERE <. (If you're already subscribed, you can skip this step.)
2. Leave a comment in the comments section below, telling me what being a father - or having a father - means to you. If you're reading this from your email, click > HERE < to go to the full blog page on my website and you can leave your comments below.
NO PURCHASE NECESSARY! CONTEST CLOSES AT 12:01 AM, EASTERN STANDARD TIME, JUNE 18th, 2018.
CONTEST RULES: By entering your comment, you are agreeing to the following Official Rules: Must be US resident; Must enter by leaving comment in comments section of this post; I retain the right to publicize the names and likenesses of the winner(s); If winner forfeits or does not claim the prize, it will be re-awarded, at my discretion. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED BY LAW.
Song of the Day: "Father And Daughter" by Paul Simon
Hello Mr. Steiner.
What can I say about my Dad? My Dad is the reason I am where I currently am in life.
My dad moved here from India in 1986 with almost nothing, all in hopes of making a life for himself. He worked countless odd jobs until he settled in as a mailman after my mom moved from India and my sister was born. He did all of that for us.
I was a diagnosed with a neuro-muscular disease called Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy when I was 6 months old. I’ve heard stories from my mother about the countless specialists he took me to in an effort to figure out why I was not reaching certain aging milestones. Throughout my childhood, he always made it his goal to make sure I was able to have as normal as possible childhood I could have.
One experience I remember well is when I had surgery on my ankles when I was 9 years old. After the surgery, I had a few complcation so I was in the ICU for a few days and he stayed with me the entire time while sleeping on a recliner and without going home to shower. After that I stayed in a rehab facility for almost 2 months and was there every day and leaving only 1 day a week to go to work as a mailman. After I came home it was a struggle as I had lost too much muscle so my days of walking were over. He helped me deal with the transition in more ways than words can describe. My dad would come home every day during his lunch to wrap my ankle for 2 months after coming home.
He has been my biggest advocate with everything. He is always fighting with our insurance ccompany when they are denying something I need like certain things on my wheelchair.
As he’s been getting older, he’s had to work a lot more overtime as a mailman. He walks an average of 10 miles a day and still comes home and still stretches my arms no matter how tired he is. He still takes me to all the specialists I ago and also takes my grandparents to their appointments. All while waking up during the night a few times to adjust me in bed as I have no strength to move myself. I can see he’s getting tired of his work but still delivers mail with a positive attitude. He is only still doing it because the insurance is good for my needs. Without him, I have no idea what position I’d be in.
To answer the question, having a father means the world to me. My father has taught me countless life lessons which have made me the man I am today. A father is someone who is caring, a teacher, trusting and providing. They are not afraid to call you out when you are in the wrong. My own father has taught me that my wheelchair is not the most important thing about me. He will always be there for me and nothing can show how much a respect I have for him and how much I appreciate everything he has and will do for me.
My pop passed away on Septenber 15, 2014. He was one of my best friends, my fishing buddy, and the one I turned to for advice.
We spent many hours on the bank of the lake, fishing, in silence. I miss his quite, peaceful presence.
I have many happy memories of my pop, but the ones I treasure the most happened during the last 4 months of his life.
I am a teacher and summer had just started for me. My pop put his trust in me to take care of him as he finished his fight against pancreatic cancer. Just as we had done while fishing, we spent many quiet drives, to and from the hospital.
On one of our last trips from the hospital he was sitting in the back seat and I was driving. He gently put his hand on my shoulder and thanked me for taking care of him. I told him, “We might not be sitting on the bank of a lake, but I enjoy taking care of you and being with you.”
The day before my pop passed away I asked him if he wanted to go fishing and he replied, “Maybe tomorrow.” I’m still waiting for tomorrow.
Happy Fathers Day Mr.Steiner
My mom and dad divorced when I was 2 years young. I grew up in Brooklyn with 4 brothers and I was the only girl. Not an easy place to be sometimes, but I loved having all these brothers around. I was a bit of a tomboy and loved to play stoop Ball, wiffle ball and many other games.
Our dad was from a big Italian Family. We would get to see my dad on saturdays. We would wait on the front stoop of the house and wait for him to come pick us up. Sometimes he showed and Sometimes he didn’t. When we would see him I would run as fast as I can to get picked up in his arms. What every little girl wants is DADDYS arms. He would take us up to the avenue and we would have breakfast in the Greek diner. My brother Gary would love to order chocolate milk because the waiter would always repeat it and said it with his Greek accent and it was so funny to GARY and I.
Dad would take us to Coney Island and we would have this fun and magical time with him.
My mom had remarried and I had a step Dad named LENNY. LENNY was more serious and kept more to himself. I use to go up to him and ask him if I can call him Daddy and he would say Yes! You can call me Daddy. When I did I felt disloyal to my biological Dad who’s name was Alfonso. Most people called him Funzi. I would then go back to LENNY and ask, Can I call you LENNY and he would say Yes, you can call me LENNY. You see I always wanted to have a a mon and dad to come home to just like most of my friends. As I grew up and had my own family both my dad Alfonso and step Dad LENNY were both there for me in their very different ways.
My dad loved me by cooking and sitting at the kitchen table in his shorts and white tank and black socks and shoes. Haaha. Dad would play and kiss my babies and kiss their necks to make them laugh. My dad and I could just be together and I felt safe. Another thing every little girl wants from daddy. He was so loving and hands on dad. I loved him very much and when he died suddenly I was so devastated.
I knew he loved me.
With LENNY he was the one who was the teacher to my children. He would show them how to fix anything at all. He was the one when something broke my children would say oh we have to bring that to Grandpa to fix. He would teach them not to put there feet on the couch to pick up their toys He would pretend to have magic tricks. We loved LENNY so much.
When LENNY died I felt as though some part of my childhood died with him.
You see, Both of them were my Dad. I loved them both so much. Being a father is not an easy thing to do. It’s not a job to be a father it is a desire to be one. Children want there dads, they want fun with them, love from them and guidance from them.
My step dad LENNY stepped up, down and sideways for us.
My dad Alfonso was loving and gentle and showed it in so many ways.
God gave us Dads so we can feel the love of sacrifice. You see, A sacrifice has to cost you something and that’s what dads do.
Being a father is the greatest gift in the world!! My Dad passed away 7 years ago, while at the same time my ex-wife let me know she wanted a divorce. It was by far the lowest point in my life. I had a 7 year old daughter and 5 year old son at the time. They are my life, and are now 14 and 12 respectively. I’m a single Dad that will do anything for his kids. I cherish my time with them, and have 50% custody. I’m very involved in their lives, and I’m very grateful for the wonderful kids God has blessed me with. They have helped me get through some very rough times and have brought so much happiness into my life. I don’t know where I would be without them. My motto is kids aren’t asked to be brought into this world, and it’s up to us to take care of them.
My father was great and was a huge sports fan. We spent numerous hours together watching and practicing sports. He certainly instilled in me the love of the game, and our favorite sport was baseball. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about him, but I know he is in a much better place. Father’s Day is a great day to celebrate his life and to magnify how fortunate I am to have the greatest gift in life, 2 incredible kids.
When I was a kid my father and mother would always take on a summer vacation that included big league baseball. Various trips went to St Louis, Detroit, Chicago, Milwaukee and Kansas City supposedly to visit family and friends. Magically we always ended up at a baseball park to see a game before we went home. Vacation was also great because my mom would let me order anything I wanted off the menu for breakfast. It had to be either a strawberry sundae or a banana split. What great memories. Now my son and I go on a baseball trip every year. We try to see a new stadium every year. Perhaps we will see them all. I hope not. What great memories.