One day when he was younger, my son came home upset. When I asked him what was wrong, he told me that he hadn’t been invited to the birthday party of another kid in his class.
A lot of kids make this complaint expecting that the parent will call the birthday kid’s parents, and force an invite.
But I always thought there was a better way to go.
I thought it was more effective to ask, “Why do you think you weren’t invited?”
Because when you take some time out to answer that question, you start discovering the underlying issues, like how the kid is treating others at school, how his values are shaping up, and other factors that are much more important than a single party.
It’s the same thing at work.
If you feel like your coworkers don’t invite you out enough, instead of just concluding they’re jerks, stop to think about how you could be a better colleague to them.
It’s the same thing with not getting a raise. Instead of blaming your boss for being a cheap SOB, think about the issues you have at work that might prevent you from progressing.
Because none of these decisions happen in a vacuum. They always start with ourselves and how we treat others.
They always start with the person in the mirror.
To have great friends, you need to be a great friend, first and foremost.
To have a great job, you have to be a great employee. First and foremost.
Are you frustrated by someone you work with, or by a loved one?
Before you pass blame to the other person:
Take a look in the mirror and ask yourself what you can do to improve that relationship.
Because Lord knows your parents can't call their parents.